








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,570 | |
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9439 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7646 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5516 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6122 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,845,443 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nord | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | Aquelo | 52% | 162 |
| #3 | Eulogy | 52% | 244 |
| #4 | Watto | 51% | 80 |
| #5 | Disabled Kitten | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | astroom | 49% | 80 |
| #8 | Danksy | 47% | 298 |
| #9 | buntaga | 47% | 64 |
| #10 | zefee | 45% | 51 |
| #11 | WienerCommanderFTW | 35% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eulogy | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | teible | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | WienerCommanderFTW | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Danksy | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Aquelo | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danksy | 830 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | teible | 629 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | Eulogy | 622 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | Aquelo | 296 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | zefee | 251 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WienerCommanderFTW | +1.53 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | L4ma | +1.34 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | astroom | +0.98 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | Eulogy | +0.96 | 53 | 65 |
| #5 | Watto | +0.34 | 79 | 66 |





