








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3830 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2109 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3723 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2080 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,223 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villa! | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Rasmus | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | Ronald McDonald | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | Walter | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | L4ma | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Walter | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | L4ma | 52% | 31 |
| #6 | Boizez | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | Eulogy | 49% | 61 |
| #8 | zefee | 49% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eulogy | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | zefee | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Villa! | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Boizez | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Ronald McDonald | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zefee | 404 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Walter | 150 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Eulogy | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | L4ma | 98 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Villa! | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasmus | +4.35 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Villa! | +3.26 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | L4ma | +1.00 | 57 | 69 |
| #4 | Eulogy | +0.85 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | Boizez | +0.60 | 50 | 63 |





