








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3534 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3464 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2671 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1801 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,114,017 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigwhiffa | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | time to clock in | 51% | 260 |
| #3 | KEITH STALIN | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | yani | 49% | 80 |
| #5 | Wiseboy | 46% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wiseboy | 46% | 130 |
| #6 | LittleMonkey | 45% | 88 |
| #7 | Reverse Stinkuur | 43% | 196 |
| #8 | Kodak Brick | 42% | 179 |
| #9 | LeBron | 41% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reverse Stinkuur | 73 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | Kodak Brick | 57 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | yani | 48 | 0.0289 |
| #4 | time to clock in | 42 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | bigwhiffa | 24 | 0.0352 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeBron | 991 | 0.29 | 26 min |
| #2 | time to clock in | 887 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | Reverse Stinkuur | 676 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | yani | 536 | 0.32 | 15 min |
| #5 | Kodak Brick | 474 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reverse Stinkuur | +3.14 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | yani | +2.27 | 65 | 70 |
| #3 | bigwhiffa | +0.58 | 66 | 27 |
| #4 | KEITH STALIN | +0.07 | 51 | 39 |
| #5 | Mayor of Value Town | -0.41 | 48 | 55 |





