








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4174 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2303 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1159 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,272 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigwhiffa | 48% | 21 |
| #2 | time to clock in | 46% | 127 |
| #3 | KEITH STALIN | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | Kodak Brick | 42% | 107 |
| #5 | Reverse Stinkuur | 42% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Reverse Stinkuur | 42% | 118 |
| #6 | Mayor of Value Town | 41% | 164 |
| #7 | yani | 40% | 43 |
| #8 | LittleMonkey | 37% | 30 |
| #9 | Wiseboy | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reverse Stinkuur | 50 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | time to clock in | 29 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Mayor of Value Town | 26 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | yani | 25 | 0.0276 |
| #5 | Kodak Brick | 23 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayor of Value Town | 655 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | time to clock in | 413 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Reverse Stinkuur | 385 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | yani | 283 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kodak Brick | 280 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reverse Stinkuur | +3.54 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | yani | +2.67 | 65 | 70 |
| #3 | bigwhiffa | +0.88 | 75 | 18 |
| #4 | LittleMonkey | -0.39 | 46 | 64 |
| #5 | Mayor of Value Town | -0.60 | 50 | 54 |





