










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1968 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1329 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1456 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1027 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,708 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigwhiffa | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | time to clock in | 47% | 178 |
| #3 | LittleMonkey | 44% | 70 |
| #4 | Zzz | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Mayor of Value Town | 42% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Wiseboy | 42% | 97 |
| #7 | KEITH STALIN | 42% | 57 |
| #8 | LeBron | 42% | 107 |
| #9 | Reverse Stinkuur | 42% | 157 |
| #10 | yani | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reverse Stinkuur | 69 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Mayor of Value Town | 36 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | bigwhiffa | 32 | 0.0401 |
| #4 | time to clock in | 31 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | yani | 30 | 0.0351 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayor of Value Town | 779 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | LeBron | 634 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #3 | time to clock in | 596 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | Reverse Stinkuur | 519 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | yani | 264 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reverse Stinkuur | +3.62 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | yani | +1.72 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Zzz | +1.21 | 69 | 33 |
| #4 | bigwhiffa | +0.63 | 73 | 31 |
| #5 | Mayor of Value Town | -0.23 | 48 | 55 |





