








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 17% |
| Smokes | 456 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1075 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 913 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,144 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Placcy | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | WangTheChineseWarlord | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Ihax | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | WangsDog | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | [ZSUR] BL00D | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [ZSUR] BL00D | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | Galo | 39% | 28 |
| #7 | B1lly | 38% | 68 |
| #8 | West | 37% | 68 |
| #9 | Big Papa Rappa | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1lly | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Big Papa Rappa | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Ihax | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | WangTheChineseWarlord | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Papa Rappa | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | B1lly | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ihax | 28 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | [ZSUR] BL00D | 22 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | WangTheChineseWarlord | 21 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WangTheChineseWarlord | +5.17 | 83 | 40 |
| #2 | B1lly | +2.17 | 56 | 47 |
| #3 | Big Papa Rappa | +1.77 | 55 | 59 |
| #4 | Placcy | +1.28 | 31 | 59 |
| #5 | Ihax | +0.63 | 42 | 39 |





