








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 179 | 19% |
| Smokes | 332 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 238 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 205 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $101,672 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcliu5 | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Eddy | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Luminous | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Iowa | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Raziel | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | expie | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Mad_Orange | 42% | 43 |
| #8 | Boouck | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | xavaikhan | 25% | 12 |
| #10 | 14mm Hex Socket | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mad_Orange | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Luminous | 3 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | 14mm Hex Socket | 3 | 0.0462 |
| #4 | Eddy | 2 | 0.0345 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raziel | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #2 | Mad_Orange | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | Luminous | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | xavaikhan | 6 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Boouck | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xavaikhan | +3.18 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | expie | +2.52 | 89 | 43 |
| #3 | Mad_Orange | +1.09 | 53 | 31 |
| #4 | 14mm Hex Socket | +0.63 | 93 | 27 |
| #5 | mcliu5 | -0.21 | 32 | 5 |





