








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 126 | 26% |
| Smokes | 89 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 129 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 145 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $47,596 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expie | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | mcliu5 | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | n0stalgiic | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Eddy | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Mad_Orange | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mad_Orange | 5 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | n0stalgiic | 3 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | 14mm Hex Socket | 2 | 0.0909 |
| #4 | Raziel | 1 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raziel | 13 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #2 | n0stalgiic | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Mad_Orange | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | xavaikhan | 3 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | expie | 2 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expie | +5.01 | 78 | 22 |
| #2 | xavaikhan | +4.15 | 92 | 43 |
| #3 | Mad_Orange | +1.99 | 62 | 26 |
| #4 | 14mm Hex Socket | +1.59 | 96 | 26 |
| #5 | mcliu5 | +0.46 | 44 | 21 |





