








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 425 | 35% |
| Smokes | 342 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 171 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $81,111 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vitrex | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | mcliu5 | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | n0stalgiic | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | xavaikhan | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | Eddy | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mad_Orange | 39% | 66 |
| #7 | Zacharias | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | Luminous | 14% | 7 |
| #9 | Iowa | 13% | 8 |
| #10 | expie | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mad_Orange | 11 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Eddy | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | xavaikhan | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Vitrex | 2 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Iowa | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xavaikhan | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mad_Orange | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Eddy | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vitrex | 12 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zacharias | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xavaikhan | +7.49 | 90 | 46 |
| #2 | n0stalgiic | +1.31 | 36 | 48 |
| #3 | Mad_Orange | +0.84 | 58 | 23 |
| #4 | Vitrex | +0.61 | 67 | 34 |
| #5 | Eddy | -0.32 | 39 | 21 |





