








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1749 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1308 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3130 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1096 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,764,713 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mad_Orange | 46% | 154 |
| #7 | Vitrex | 46% | 211 |
| #8 | 14mm Hex Socket | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | flaccid snake | 45% | 40 |
| #10 | Raziel | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vitrex | 35 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Mad_Orange | 29 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | 14mm Hex Socket | 12 | 0.0251 |
| #4 | Dave | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | booman | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dave | 272 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Vitrex | 140 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mad_Orange | 87 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | flaccid snake | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Raziel | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xavaikhan | +4.74 | 85 | 46 |
| #2 | Dave | +2.50 | 72 | 40 |
| #3 | 14mm Hex Socket | +1.32 | 89 | 31 |
| #4 | Mad_Orange | -0.42 | 51 | 29 |
| #5 | CoochieCrusader | -0.63 | 34 | 54 |





