








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 645 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2000 | 11% |
| Smokes | 8037 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2870 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5843 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,897,859 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 样品 | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | scabsmagooby | 53% | 66 |
| #3 | Haetoon | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | Cammie | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | Kels | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CoreDonut | 49% | 86 |
| #8 | Vitrex | 46% | 69 |
| #9 | xavaikhan | 46% | 154 |
| #10 | StoryWorm | 44% | 80 |
| #11 | Raziel | 39% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakeyPoo | 16 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | xavaikhan | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Vitrex | 13 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | CoreDonut | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | 样品 | 9 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kels | 488 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Haetoon | 314 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | CoreDonut | 227 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | JakeyPoo | 212 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cammie | 157 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xavaikhan | +4.74 | 87 | 48 |
| #2 | Haetoon | +2.82 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | Kels | +1.03 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | JakeyPoo | +0.78 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | Cammie | +0.44 | 75 | 46 |





