








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3902 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2386 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 680 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 2468 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,880 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark*tA*mEre* | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Frying pan | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | leo | 60% | 67 |
| #4 | Chicken | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | Lєєνуу | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chicken | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | Lєєνуу | 57% | 44 |
| #6 | SCOOBY SNAX | 55% | 31 |
| #7 | Lare | 50% | 42 |
| #8 | MOFO | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lare | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | SCOOBY SNAX | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Lєєνуу | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Chicken | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | leo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leo | 215 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lєєνуу | 175 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lare | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | SCOOBY SNAX | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chicken | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lєєνуу | +3.05 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | SCOOBY SNAX | +3.01 | 89 | 64 |
| #3 | Lare | +1.66 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | leo | +1.50 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | Deranker | +1.09 | 75 | 64 |





