








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 964 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3704 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4777 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4478 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5324 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,060,825 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K... | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | leo | 53% | 201 |
| #3 | MOFO | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | GoldRosso | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Deranker | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leo | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | deymon | 19 | 0.0250 |
| #3 | Frying pan | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Chicken | 17 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | SCOOBY SNAX | 13 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leo | 504 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Chicken | 322 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | SCOOBY SNAX | 266 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Deranker | 185 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Frying pan | 174 | 0.07 | 3 min |





