








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1320 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1479 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1462 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1202 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,089 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pauly Dee | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Deranker | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Chicken | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Dark*tA*mEre* | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Zeus | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | leo | 54% | 37 |
| #7 | Frying pan | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Lare | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | qcmonetteqc | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | IceAssBaby | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deranker | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Chicken | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Zeus | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | leo | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Lare | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deranker | 228 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | leo | 103 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zeus | 102 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lare | 65 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chicken | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lare | +3.10 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | Lєєνуу | +1.93 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Zeus | +0.99 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | Deranker | +0.29 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | Chicken | +0.20 | 89 | 50 |





