








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3617 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3414 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2145 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2995 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,987 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haapaoja | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | Yeet | 62% | 79 |
| #3 | exse | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | PingU | 55% | 85 |
| #5 | TobiJ | 55% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PingU | 55% | 85 |
| #5 | TobiJ | 55% | 84 |
| #6 | arn1 | 54% | 74 |
| #7 | mojarn | 53% | 107 |
| #8 | Kvg333 | 52% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeet | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | arn1 | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | exse | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Kvg333 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | PingU | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mojarn | 285 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kvg333 | 278 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Yeet | 251 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | PingU | 242 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | TobiJ | 171 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvg333 | +2.61 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | haapaoja | +2.43 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | +0.49 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | mojarn | +0.38 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | arn1 | +0.01 | 62 | 54 |





