








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1848 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1496 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1509 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1143 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,957 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babuuz | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | TobiJ | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | exse | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | Yeet | 58% | 128 |
| #5 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 55% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 55% | 85 |
| #6 | mojarn | 54% | 175 |
| #7 | Kvg333 | 54% | 155 |
| #8 | arn1 | 53% | 130 |
| #9 | Nopux | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arn1 | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Kvg333 | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Yeet | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | mojarn | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mojarn | 540 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Kvg333 | 497 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 445 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #4 | Yeet | 386 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | arn1 | 262 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvg333 | +2.95 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Nopux | +1.69 | 57 | 47 |
| #3 | exse | +0.91 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | mojarn | +0.69 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | +0.60 | 76 | 68 |





