








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3050 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2616 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2057 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2307 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,150 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jens Varmmand | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | G1vskov | 64% | 61 |
| #3 | zeek | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | Doctor Quanix | 62% | 65 |
| #5 | strate | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | G1vskov | 64% | 61 |
| #3 | zeek | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | Doctor Quanix | 62% | 65 |
| #5 | strate | 60% | 20 |
| #6 | MakarelFingers | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeek | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Doctor Quanix | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | G1vskov | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | MakarelFingers | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G1vskov | 213 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | zeek | 103 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Doctor Quanix | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | MakarelFingers | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | strate | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MakarelFingers | +2.92 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | strate | +2.28 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | G1vskov | +2.19 | 75 | 75 |
| #4 | Doctor Quanix | +1.46 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | Crazy xD | +1.23 | 80 | 78 |





