








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1274 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1072 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,587 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeek | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Gandalf | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | Crazy xD | 64% | 61 |
| #4 | strate | 63% | 46 |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 61% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Crazy xD | 64% | 61 |
| #4 | strate | 63% | 46 |
| #5 | Doctor Quanix | 61% | 38 |
| #6 | X4ND | 59% | 22 |
| #7 | JB | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy xD | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Doctor Quanix | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | strate | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Gandalf | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | JB | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy xD | 274 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | strate | 125 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | X4ND | 94 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Doctor Quanix | 52 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | zeek | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G1vskov | +2.22 | 77 | 78 |
| #2 | strate | +2.14 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | JB | +1.48 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Gandalf | +1.07 | 80 | 49 |
| #5 | Crazy xD | +0.77 | 78 | 80 |





