








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 146 | 12% |
| Smokes | 335 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 267 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 467 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,632 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NemoTheFishy05 | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | ✪ TOXIC | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | JannickUdenC | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Xsampel | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | skuuge | 30% | 23 |
| #9 | Static | 28% | 58 |
| #10 | Hot Neighborhood Femboy | 24% | 29 |
| #11 | Wallah Jeg Har En FEd Kebab | 18% | 11 |
| #12 | Boeing 767-200 | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kowalski | 14 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Static | 12 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Don Juan Deag | 11 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 10 | 0.0203 |
| #5 | JannickUdenC | 10 | 0.0221 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | 210 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Don Juan Deag | 190 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | 123 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | Xsampel | 84 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | skuuge | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ TOXIC | +5.88 | 60 | 45 |
| #2 | Static | +4.43 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Friendly Neighborhood Femboy | +3.68 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | JannickUdenC | +2.99 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | Don Juan Deag | +0.21 | 28 | 55 |





