








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1628 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1352 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1486 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,347 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyyx | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | kamui | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | -freezy | 70% | 69 |
| #4 | Meat | 67% | 58 |
| #5 | xXxBRASILg0dxXx-HeartOfALI0N- | 67% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | -freezy | 70% | 69 |
| #4 | Meat | 67% | 58 |
| #5 | xXxBRASILg0dxXx-HeartOfALI0N- | 67% | 42 |
| #6 | asdf | 62% | 29 |
| #7 | summertime | 58% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | summertime | 11 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | -freezy | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Meat | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | asdf | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | xXxBRASILg0dxXx-HeartOfALI0N- | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meat | 251 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | xXxBRASILg0dxXx-HeartOfALI0N- | 219 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | -freezy | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | summertime | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | asdf | 97 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -freezy | +3.59 | 93 | 52 |
| #2 | kamui | +2.85 | 93 | 69 |
| #3 | b ased | +2.70 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | xXxBRASILg0dxXx-HeartOfALI0N- | +1.92 | 83 | 66 |
| #5 | asdf | +1.54 | 87 | 64 |





