








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2274 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2449 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1363 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2036 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $488,124 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saviour | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | pluT | 83% | 23 |
| #3 | ogwizard-_- | 82% | 22 |
| #4 | b ased | 70% | 69 |
| #5 | xsany | 68% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | b ased | 70% | 69 |
| #5 | xsany | 68% | 56 |
| #6 | T0rby | 63% | 19 |
| #7 | summertime | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b ased | 15 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | ogwizard-_- | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | xsany | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | pluT | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | T0rby | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b ased | 200 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | xsany | 135 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ogwizard-_- | 107 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 90 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | pluT | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogwizard-_- | +5.15 | 88 | 50 |
| #2 | xsany | +4.39 | 93 | 66 |
| #3 | -freezy | +2.71 | 93 | 59 |
| #4 | b ased | +2.22 | 82 | 50 |
| #5 | Saviour | +2.10 | 71 | 53 |





