








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 416 | 25% |
| Smokes | 426 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,895 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickolaus | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Tycho | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Meat 2 | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | -freezy | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | b ased | 62% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Meat 2 | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | -freezy | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | b ased | 62% | 29 |
| #6 | shiro | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | summertime | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b ased | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Nickolaus | 2 | 0.0364 |
| #3 | -freezy | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Meat 2 | 1 | 0.0182 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b ased | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Meat 2 | 25 | 0.45 | 1 min |
| #3 | -freezy | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | shiro | 14 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tycho | 11 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meat 2 | +7.22 | 91 | 87 |
| #2 | asdf | +3.35 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | -freezy | +3.29 | 95 | 48 |
| #4 | b ased | +2.91 | 87 | 50 |
| #5 | shiro | -0.92 | 47 | 40 |





