








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1023 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 867 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 928 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,148 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -freezy | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | NEXCESSSSS | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Meat | 79% | 43 |
| #4 | summertime | 78% | 23 |
| #5 | Nyyx | 76% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Meat | 79% | 43 |
| #4 | summertime | 78% | 23 |
| #5 | Nyyx | 76% | 17 |
| #6 | b ased | 67% | 42 |
| #7 | SHARPO | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meat | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | b ased | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | summertime | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | -freezy | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meat | 226 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | b ased | 126 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nyyx | 69 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | summertime | 54 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | SHARPO | 54 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -freezy | +6.41 | 98 | 48 |
| #2 | xXxBRASILg0dxXx-HeartOfALI0N- | +2.89 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | b ased | +2.60 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | Meat | +1.97 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | NEXCESSSSS | +0.02 | 74 | 66 |





