








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1356 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1167 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2785 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1905 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,398,703 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stefan | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Coronawarrior99 | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | βοΈ UlanyDancerβ | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | dingle | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Bentendo ? | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rqin | 17 | 0.0395 |
| #2 | ππ₯ππππ :) | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Serriinee | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Bentendo ? | 6 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | Benjy | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ₯ππππ :) | 302 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Benjy | 131 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Roy | 114 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | dingle | 89 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | FaZe_Manβ’ | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |





