








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2134 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2076 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1749 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2326 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $604,457 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK 1.1 | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | Aguboo | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | You bad bad | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Dylisious | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | ||||||||||||| | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ☯ Lawrence | 54% | 24 |
| #13 | Libra | 49% | 39 |
| #14 | O口O | 41% | 27 |
| #15 | CopyBear | 40% | 43 |
| #16 | CopyDoge | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woo | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | CAPOO | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | YuKi™(。・ω・。)ノ♡ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ShuKai | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | MK 1.1 | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YuKi™(。・ω・。)ノ♡ | 665 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Woo | 500 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | CAPOO | 414 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | ShuKai | 219 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Libra | 185 | 0.22 | 6 min |





