








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1989 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2359 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2389 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1593 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,268 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk | 49% | 103 |
| #2 | Go Sleep | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | P1mple | 46% | 220 |
| #4 | Deng di lei | 45% | 100 |
| #5 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 44% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Go Sleep | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | P1mple | 46% | 220 |
| #4 | Deng di lei | 45% | 100 |
| #5 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 44% | 204 |
| #6 | Dad | 41% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | P1mple | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Bonk | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Deng di lei | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Dad | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | 741 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 600 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | Deng di lei | 492 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #4 | Bonk | 216 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dad | 160 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | +2.31 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Bonk | +0.64 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | Go Sleep | +0.47 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Kozay | +0.21 | 76 | 67 |
| #5 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | +0.18 | 75 | 63 |





