








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2091 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1755 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1831 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,310,296 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kozay | 49% | 103 |
| #3 | Deng di lei | 46% | 117 |
| #4 | P1mple | 46% | 279 |
| #5 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 44% | 250 |
| #6 | Dad | 39% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | P1mple | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Dad | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Deng di lei | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Kozay | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | 928 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 774 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #3 | Deng di lei | 534 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #4 | Dad | 218 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kozay | 203 | 0.09 | 5 min |





