








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 701 | 28% |
| Smokes | 688 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 546 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 578 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,224 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salt | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Kozay | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | P1mple | 44% | 72 |
| #4 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 43% | 61 |
| #5 | Dad | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kozay | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | P1mple | 44% | 72 |
| #4 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 43% | 61 |
| #5 | Dad | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | Deng di lei | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | salt | 2 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | 221 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 190 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Deng di lei | 182 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kozay | 57 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dad | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | +1.54 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | salt | +1.07 | 91 | 44 |
| #3 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | +0.95 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | Go Sleep | +0.27 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | Kozay | -0.17 | 75 | 68 |





