








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2239 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2335 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1344 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,085,227 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 杰哥 不要!! | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Bonk | 39% | 134 |
| #6 | P1mple | 38% | 287 |
| #7 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 37% | 244 |
| #8 | Deng di lei | 32% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Kozay | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | P1mple | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Bonk | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Deng di lei | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | 898 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 721 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | Deng di lei | 291 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bonk | 286 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kozay | 212 | 0.10 | 6 min |





