








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3387 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2797 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2990 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1843 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,357 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kozay | 45% | 100 |
| #4 | P1mple | 42% | 236 |
| #5 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 41% | 201 |
| #6 | Go Sleep | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | Dad | 32% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | P1mple | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Kozay | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Bonk | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Dad | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1mple | 782 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||| | 563 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | Bonk | 216 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kozay | 199 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dad | 86 | 0.06 | 3 min |





