








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 34% |
| Smokes | 469 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 388 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 283 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,744 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeti | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Scrunk | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | Sassy Sasquatch | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Donny D. | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Scrunk | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | Sassy Sasquatch | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Donny D. | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | jusie™ | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 12 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | jusie™ | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Sassy Sasquatch | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Scrunk | 2 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | yeti | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 154 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | jusie™ | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sassy Sasquatch | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Donny D. | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | yeti | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrunk | +6.23 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | Casey | +2.98 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | yeti | +2.59 | 44 | 56 |
| #4 | flywieadlerskrrrt | -0.27 | 70 | 50 |
| #5 | jusie™ | -0.30 | 77 | 51 |





