








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2092 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2090 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1746 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1658 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,427 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jusie™ | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Sassy Sasquatch | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | Donny D. | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 51% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Donny D. | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 51% | 129 |
| #6 | ANIMUS #keepitmello | 51% | 83 |
| #7 | OneAndOnlyy | 50% | 101 |
| #8 | yeti | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 12 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | yeti | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Sassy Sasquatch | 6 | 0.0174 |
| #4 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | jusie™ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneAndOnlyy | 391 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 291 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | ANIMUS #keepitmello | 191 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | yeti | 135 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 114 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrunk | +1.64 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | ^2Flomo ASCE | +1.15 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | flywieadlerskrrrt | +0.96 | 75 | 51 |
| #4 | jusie™ | +0.10 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | OneAndOnlyy | -0.35 | 50 | 78 |





