








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2451 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2703 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1551 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,453,108 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrunk | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | yeti | 55% | 155 |
| #3 | Casey | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Sassy Sasquatch | 50% | 205 |
| #5 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 50% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 37 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Sassy Sasquatch | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | yeti | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Casey | 13 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | Scrunk | 9 | 0.0180 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 994 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Sassy Sasquatch | 664 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | yeti | 306 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Casey | 137 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Donny D. | 135 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scrunk | +5.22 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | Casey | +2.25 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | yeti | +1.02 | 53 | 63 |
| #4 | jusie™ | +0.59 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | flywieadlerskrrrt | -0.09 | 70 | 56 |





