








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 667 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7680 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6383 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4911 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4790 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,451,735 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casey | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | yeti | 50% | 226 |
| #3 | Sassy Sasquatch | 50% | 257 |
| #4 | jusie™ | 50% | 323 |
| #5 | Kobe Brisant | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | yeti | 50% | 226 |
| #3 | Sassy Sasquatch | 50% | 257 |
| #4 | jusie™ | 50% | 323 |
| #5 | Kobe Brisant | 45% | 42 |
| #6 | Donny D. | 38% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sassy Sasquatch | 35 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | jusie™ | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | yeti | 19 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Casey | 16 | 0.0158 |
| #5 | Donny D. | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sassy Sasquatch | 841 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | jusie™ | 531 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | yeti | 402 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | Donny D. | 311 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Casey | 156 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casey | +3.77 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | yeti | +0.89 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | jusie™ | +0.28 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | flywieadlerskrrrt | +0.05 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | Sassy Sasquatch | -0.14 | 61 | 58 |





