








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4459 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4691 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5741 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4647 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,006,636 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jusie™ | 55% | 155 |
| #2 | ANIMUS #keepitmello | 54% | 137 |
| #3 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 52% | 201 |
| #4 | Kobe Brisant | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | OneAndOnlyy | 51% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | OneAndOnlyy | 51% | 172 |
| #6 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 50% | 226 |
| #7 | Scrunk | 49% | 100 |
| #8 | Donny D. | 48% | 85 |
| #9 | Sassy Sasquatch | 47% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 30 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Sassy Sasquatch | 19 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | jusie™ | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Scrunk | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flywieadlerskrrrt | 632 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | OneAndOnlyy | 622 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | ^2Flomo ASCE | 464 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Sassy Sasquatch | 445 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | ANIMUS #keepitmello | 259 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^2Flomo ASCE | +1.53 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | Scrunk | +1.39 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | jusie™ | +0.41 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | yeti | +0.34 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | Sassy Sasquatch | -0.03 | 61 | 57 |





