








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1293 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2199 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2699 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,268 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pillepaudi | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 53% | 104 |
| #3 | Chicken Box | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | HANDSOME-HARRIE | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | csMommy | 46% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csMommy | 23 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Chicken Box | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | UNEX I sou! | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | pillepaudi | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csMommy | 424 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | Chicken Box | 212 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bot Vollbock | 156 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | DanteInferno | 104 | 0.05 | 2 min |





