








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 831 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 166 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3347 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5323 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9529 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 4951 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,932,292 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 55% | 148 |
| #2 | UNEX I sou! | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | syck | 50% | 76 |
| #4 | Chicken Box | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | DanteInferno | 48% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Reaper.720 | 48% | 75 |
| #7 | pillepaudi | 47% | 99 |
| #8 | Bot Vollbock | 46% | 104 |
| #9 | ☜☢Geralt von Riva☢☞ | 40% | 85 |
| #10 | csMommy | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pillepaudi | 13 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Bot Vollbock | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ☜☢Geralt von Riva☢☞ | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | csMommy | 8 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 328 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Bot Vollbock | 320 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | pillepaudi | 279 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Chicken Box | 269 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | DanteInferno | 153 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | +2.68 | 44 | 54 |
| #2 | Bot Vollbock | +1.75 | 35 | 60 |
| #3 | UNEX I sou! | +1.70 | 57 | 55 |
| #4 | syck | +1.28 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | Chicken Box | +1.06 | 27 | 78 |





