








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 230 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4383 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3554 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4495 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4190 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,984,062 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicken Box | 51% | 65 |
| #2 | HANDSOME-HARRIE | 48% | 139 |
| #3 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 46% | 113 |
| #4 | Bot Vollbock | 46% | 61 |
| #5 | †Slowphy† | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | csMommy | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Chicken Box | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | †Slowphy† | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | HANDSOME-HARRIE | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | 252 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Chicken Box | 232 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bot Vollbock | 183 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Reaper.720 | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | csMommy | 123 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | †Slowphy† | +8.50 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Bot Vollbock | +2.38 | 39 | 64 |
| #3 | ☜Der Joshi☞ | +2.38 | 38 | 48 |
| #4 | Chicken Box | +1.74 | 28 | 77 |
| #5 | Reaper.720 | +1.54 | 64 | 38 |





