








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 440 | 25% |
| Smokes | 382 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 372 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 556 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,295 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | ZachSchmitty | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | Krabs | 49% | 74 |
| #4 | User1_Max | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | twistzz to FaZe | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | ZachSchmitty | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | Krabs | 49% | 74 |
| #4 | User1_Max | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | twistzz to FaZe | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZachSchmitty | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | User1_Max | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Krabs | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabs | 300 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | User1_Max | 240 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 178 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | twistzz to FaZe | 157 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | cheeks | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | +2.67 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | twistzz to FaZe | +2.54 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Krabs | +2.31 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | ZachSchmitty | +0.29 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | User1_Max | -1.03 | 79 | 65 |





