










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1468 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1218 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,937 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | User1_Max | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | Slobbert | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 69% | 36 |
| #4 | Krabs | 64% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | User1_Max | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | Slobbert | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 69% | 36 |
| #4 | Krabs | 64% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabs | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ZachSchmitty | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | User1_Max | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabs | 305 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | User1_Max | 100 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Slobbert | 36 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabs | +3.43 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | cheeks | +2.30 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | +1.33 | 70 | 70 |
| #4 | User1_Max | -0.44 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | Slobbert | -2.85 | 61 | 51 |





