








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5605 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4765 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2707 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3429 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,450 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | 64% | 61 |
| #2 | twistzz to FaZe | 59% | 217 |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 57% | 181 |
| #4 | User1_Max | 54% | 188 |
| #5 | Slobbert | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | 64% | 61 |
| #2 | twistzz to FaZe | 59% | 217 |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 57% | 181 |
| #4 | User1_Max | 54% | 188 |
| #5 | Slobbert | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZachSchmitty | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | User1_Max | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | twistzz to FaZe | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Slobbert | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twistzz to FaZe | 864 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | User1_Max | 592 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 537 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | cheeks | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Slobbert | 103 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twistzz to FaZe | +2.78 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Krabs | +2.10 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | cheeks | +1.59 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | ZachSchmitty | -0.38 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | User1_Max | -0.81 | 80 | 63 |





