








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2650 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2110 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1399 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1650 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,412 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | twistzz to FaZe | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | Krabs | 54% | 188 |
| #4 | ZachSchmitty | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | Slobbert | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZachSchmitty | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Krabs | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | twistzz to FaZe | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Slobbert | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabs | 844 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | twistzz to FaZe | 544 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | ZachSchmitty | 405 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Slobbert | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | cheeks | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twistzz to FaZe | +3.08 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | cheeks | +2.69 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | Krabs | +1.89 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | ZachSchmitty | -0.48 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | User1_Max | -0.50 | 80 | 62 |





