








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 133 | 20% |
| Smokes | 181 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 160 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 182 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,402 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bugtoat | 38% | 26 |
| #2 | kenny jams | 31% | 59 |
| #3 | Donny Shish | 30% | 110 |
| #4 | Byeah | 30% | 47 |
| #5 | ImaSnake | 27% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Squonk | 27% | 123 |
| #8 | DiscountDoomslayer | 27% | 71 |
| #9 | Mr Razpberry Jam | 22% | 18 |
| #10 | Augzilla | 22% | 32 |
| #11 | George from IT | 21% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | 19 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Squonk | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | DiscountDoomslayer | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Mr Razpberry Jam | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | George from IT | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiscountDoomslayer | 335 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | Donny Shish | 185 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | kenny jams | 146 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mark PubeAss | 98 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | George from IT | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | +8.24 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | kenny jams | +2.72 | 42 | 72 |
| #3 | Squonk | +1.83 | 38 | 23 |
| #4 | DiscountDoomslayer | +1.18 | 46 | 74 |
| #5 | Bugtoat | -0.03 | 59 | 44 |





