








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1048 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2783 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4850 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1917 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4429 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,730,169 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 583 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bugtoat | 51% | 49 |
| #2 | Mark PubeAss | 50% | 155 |
| #3 | Byeah | 50% | 135 |
| #4 | kenny jams | 48% | 274 |
| #5 | Squonk | 46% | 427 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DiscountDoomslayer | 45% | 103 |
| #8 | Augzilla | 42% | 117 |
| #9 | ImaSnake | 41% | 253 |
| #10 | I_Am_Spartan | 31% | 29 |
| #11 | Dr.PhilYT | 30% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squonk | 35 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | kenny jams | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Mark PubeAss | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Augzilla | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | DiscountDoomslayer | 9 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark PubeAss | 721 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | kenny jams | 691 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | DiscountDoomslayer | 512 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #4 | George from IT | 255 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Squonk | 164 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | +7.50 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | kenny jams | +1.14 | 42 | 72 |
| #3 | Mark PubeAss | +0.21 | 36 | 56 |
| #4 | Squonk | -0.43 | 36 | 21 |
| #5 | Bugtoat | -1.66 | 52 | 45 |





