








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3683 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4583 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2818 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3962 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $951,465 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bugtoat | 50% | 48 |
| #2 | Mark PubeAss | 50% | 66 |
| #3 | George from IT | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | Donny Shish | 48% | 274 |
| #5 | DiscountDoomslayer | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Squonk | 44% | 239 |
| #7 | Augzilla | 44% | 64 |
| #8 | Byeah | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | ImaSnake | 39% | 117 |
| #10 | Dr.PhilYT | 31% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | 42 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Squonk | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | DiscountDoomslayer | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Mark PubeAss | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Augzilla | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | 452 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | DiscountDoomslayer | 363 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | Mark PubeAss | 336 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | George from IT | 170 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Squonk | 95 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Shish | +6.61 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | kenny jams | +1.12 | 43 | 72 |
| #3 | Mark PubeAss | +0.26 | 36 | 57 |
| #4 | Squonk | -1.30 | 37 | 22 |
| #5 | DiscountDoomslayer | -1.60 | 33 | 71 |





