








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2544 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1463 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4927 | 48% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,433,352 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aqua | 71% | 78 |
| #2 | jiraiya | 65% | 54 |
| #3 | Google drive | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | SnowCat | 49% | 217 |
| #5 | nobs | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Google drive | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | SnowCat | 49% | 217 |
| #5 | nobs | 46% | 57 |
| #6 | soosh | 46% | 389 |
| #7 | ruben | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soosh | 20 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | SnowCat | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | aqua | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | nobs | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | jiraiya | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soosh | 498 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | SnowCat | 419 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Google drive | 234 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | aqua | 117 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | jiraiya | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aqua | +10.91 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | nobs | +9.22 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | jiraiya | +7.39 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | SnowCat | +2.17 | 60 | 46 |
| #5 | ruben | -0.28 | 36 | 28 |





