










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 958 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1030 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2507 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 888 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,222 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrillho | 53% | 79 |
| #2 | Got me Jerpin | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Coach Frank ☮ | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | Green man | 47% | 202 |
| #5 | dont Tell Eddie | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach Frank ☮ | 19 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | Green man | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | dont Tell Eddie | 11 | 0.0176 |
| #4 | Jonah | 11 | 0.0183 |
| #5 | Got me Jerpin | 7 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrillho | +2.91 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | J-D | +2.67 | 58 | 48 |
| #3 | Green man | +1.59 | 50 | 62 |
| #4 | Coach Frank ☮ | +1.54 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | Jonah | +1.53 | 48 | 55 |





