








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 633 | 48% |
| Smokes | 156 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 256 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 267 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,299 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARCH3R | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Demarcus III | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Coach Frank ☮ | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | dont Tell Eddie | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Jonah | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARCH3R | +4.76 | 60 | 67 |
| #2 | Jonah | +3.65 | 56 | 38 |
| #3 | Coach Frank ☮ | +1.15 | 49 | 50 |
| #4 | Demarcus III | +0.40 | 47 | 38 |
| #5 | Got me Jerpin | -0.97 | 37 | 46 |





