








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 953 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10382 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9211 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8736 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7144 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,334,137 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1682 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | groberUnfug | 664 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | .#SchumiLove<3 | 400 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | lennimon | 341 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hubi <3 | 268 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ownzyy | 241 | 0.26 | 5 min |





