








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4870 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2986 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2381 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,182 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OblivionTes4 | 63% | 54 |
| #2 | RNGAndy | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | D1CHT ;. | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Walter Weight | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | jNk ૐ# | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | D1CHT ;. | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Walter Weight | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | jNk ૐ# | 45% | 47 |
| #6 | AW Bartzmuth | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | Meister Shifu | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1CHT ;. | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | OblivionTes4 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | jNk ૐ# | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Walter Weight | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Meister Shifu | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RNGAndy | 223 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | jNk ૐ# | 193 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | D1CHT ;. | 147 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | OblivionTes4 | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | AW Bartzmuth | 87 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ownzyy | +2.00 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | D1CHT ;. | +2.00 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | RNGAndy | +1.52 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | AW Bartzmuth | -0.51 | 60 | 66 |
| #5 | OblivionTes4 | -0.93 | 62 | 62 |





